REJECTION HURTS.

so i've been cancelled on my training on a job - I was excited to gain experience from.
But the douche-man cancelled on me via txt message.

Mum says it happens - IT'S HAPPENED TOO MANY TIMES FOR ME.
I feel so sad....
IT WAS GOING TO BE MY ONE DISTRACTION FROM WHAT I'VE BEEN FEELING LATELY

which is SHIT.....HELL, i cried today - SIGHHHH. =="
I cant take it anymore....
"can't always have it your way" - I swear, it's never been my way. Well, not always. It's rarely.

anyways....I'm full of sadness and depressing. I'm being an ass to myself. Cause of what I did to my friend. Now I'm just waiting for the edge - to where I will cut myself. And then..just constantly cry.
Don't eat - no smile. Sigh.....And that feeling of wanting to die....

Yup, I'm waiting for the scary thing to happen again. It's not there...but I swear it's getting there.
Sigh.....

Being Alive has never had so much torture for me until now.
I'm not worth anything.

Now....my hole will be a big and deep one.
Cause I'm fat.