You have a right.

Another depressed...well sad blog of me talking.

Well, at the moment I feel like I don't deserve to have friends...at all.
Well technically. I don't deserve to have the greatest friend of all I have.

I'm so cruel to her.......I have no idea...I'm tossing her this way...that way.....
Sigghhhh....

And my thoughts torture me to no end...and my feelings make my heart feel unbearable.
I just wanna fucking rip it out.

I'm scared...........
I push her away.......But I don't want to....
I don't want to lose her................

I'm so scared of what's going to happen to me if she leaves.
Who am I going to talk to about my problems....
Who'll break down my walls even though it's sometimes forced..
Who's going to stick by me even though I'm a fucking asshole.


Who's still willing to forgive me for all the things I've done and said to them...
Who still helps me out even though they have their shit.

Just wholeheartedly accepts me....the good and the bad...
and the weird....haha..

I do have friends that accepts me both ways...But....in depth.

yeah.......If I lose this friend of mine....
I'm more lost than ever......

lol...there's no cure to rid of my feelings....huh.......these disgusting thoughts....
the unbearable heart that beats within me.

wanna get rid of them all.