my Mind - NOT.

I have many fears believe it or not.

I have fears of my future; Am I going to make to that "future" present?
I have fears for my family.
I have fears of being alone.
I have fears for my friends.
I have many fears.

Most of all is that I fear I won't be able to hold @#$%^&*(
and it makes me sad

cause I want to believe that I can. And I will cause that's how much they're worth.
I don't say @#$%^&*() ^&*(*&^%


Okay,
I just realised there's a camera in my lab's class..HHAHAHAHA. funny.
I don't know what to say. my problems aren't so bad.
my little bro's in hospital - I'm not so worried cause he's a tough little boy. haha. But I'mma visit him today after uni.
My mum and her fiance fight everyday. I can hear it everyday.
Uni is getting hard ..yesterday I missed out the most important lecture for programming because of my dad.
my dad shop has no workers. well, they quit and he hasn't done time.
I freaking hate working there. But I really hate how its "MY" obligation to do it as a daughter and I don't want to be an ass to him because of the situation atm with my lil bro.
And my mum says all this shiet about money and I'm like WHO CARES ABOUT MONEY.
She's like 'if you dont see your dad - he'll give all his money to that "woman" and etc. and all that jizz...
Overall about this thing - my relationship w/ my dad is just money or soemthing.
FOR ONCE. WHY DOESNT HE CALL TO see how i am? but NOOO "can you work today etc"
NO, THANK YOU. @#$%^&*(*$#@
 they told me we're older than we were before and so he doesn't know how you communicate - but screw that man! SERIOUSLY. 
he has YEARS to communicate. and he didn't try.

oh and also - now, I understand WHY my granny is angry at my ong ngoai.
HOW THE FCK DID HE AFFORD A WIFE AND CHILD?

my problems aren't bad. I just wanna rant.
The end.